In reply to a question about an article:

Internet porn is it’s own animal, and it’s like an infinite, dark, shadow of non-internet porn. As stated in this article: cyber porns absolute privacy, speed of “administration”, and absolute access to more and more extreme/hard-core/beyond-what-one-might-have-ever-thought-to seek-out material make cyber porn truly the crack cocaine of sexual imagery.

The porn of the pre-internet days seems seriously quaint now when one really understands how low the world of online porn can go, and how consuming it can become to many (men, women, young and old).

Aside from that material so easily available, it’s also key that pre-internet, a person had to encounter people (& hence, potential judgments) in the process of getting some videos or magazines or whatever. A person also had a “collection”, or a few items, and these might be “used” numerous times. Now though with cyber porn, there is the ability (and the accepted need even) to constantly up the ante, almost as if to test the saturation point. (Of course, this is just speaking to imagery… there is also the reality with on line porn, that a user can “reach out” in chat rooms etc… taking the ante upping to a real life point: actual contact with sex workers.)

Cyber-porn itself is often not even about sex, or sex-drive, which the article points out. It is kind of about lone masturbation (masturbation in itself not being a problem might I add) and most significantly, it’s about isolation and escape from life and time (which the article touches on). It’s almost the opposite of real, intimate sex (including very creative, even “extreme” intimate sex) in these ways.

It’s a good point that “male sexuality- maybe all sexuality- was never designed to cope with something like the net.” And it’s not just “maybe” all sexuality. Women are no less “constantly up for it” than men are (in my opinion). Some women & some men might be less inclined at certain times and for certain reasons, but I strongly feel that it’s a silly myth that women are less sexually driven, and are somehow less governed by those desires.

In fact, again, as the article states, habitual internet porn viewing does make real sex less good in many ways and for many reasons (it does not make anyone (man or woman) more creative or well versed, or less inhibited in real life sex; quite the opposite in fact. (Please, someone try to argue this point. Do it.).

I am personally very bothered by the idea of any limit/censor being placed on visual sexual fantasy media (particularly art… and to argue another much touted stereotype, men are NOT more inclined toward the raw erotic/physical visual than women); but in the case of the internet (& it’s simple reality of easy access and easy abuse of freedom, sexual images feed so far/so fast the huge problem of human trafficking and human abuse. How can this reality be ignored any longer? And for what purpose? So that people can “get off” faster? So that they feel less bored with their freedom and lucky life?

The article also points out that marriages are being broken over online porn. It almost seems crazy to think of this, but I personally hear this way too often. I just met a woman the other day who is divorcing her husband of 12 years (4 kids) over this very issue. His online “activity” hurt her greatly over the years (she took the common tack of burying her head in the sand &/or blaming herself, trying to join in, etc..) but it all never became truly unmanageable for her until a child died and the family stress sent hubby’s cyber porn use into areas she could not deal with any longer. It was worse than living with a drug addict she said. I told her that counseling might be a good idea, but she gave me a weary look and told me “he thinks all men watch it so there is no problem”. I asked her how she felt about that. “There is a huge problem, & if I were doing what he is doing online, he’d feel it too.”

 

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